Navigate Funeral Etiquette with Dignity and Respect for Any Service

Expressing Initial Condolences

Send a Handwritten Letter

• Write a sincere, handwritten letter of condolence rather than social media messages or online comments
• Express genuine sympathy with phrases like "I was deeply sorry to learn about the death of your Uncle John, please accept my heartfelt sympathy"
• Keep the message brief but heartfelt, letting the family know they are in your thoughts

Choose Appropriate Tributes

• Send flowers as a traditional sign of respect to help honor the deceased
• Consider donating to the deceased's favorite charity if the family prefers this over flowers
• Never send flowers to Jewish families as this violates their traditions

Attending the Service

Understand Service Types

• Funeral services include the body and coffin present
• Memorial services occur when the body is not present or has been cremated
• Modern services often celebrate the person's life rather than following traditional funeral formats

Show Proper Respect

• Turn off all electronic devices completely during the service
• Listen attentively and participate appropriately in the proceedings
• Attend the service, speak with family members, then leave promptly
• Avoid drinking alcohol excessively if refreshments are served

Delivering a Eulogy

Focus on Dignity

• Share complimentary memories and qualities that made the person special
• Avoid inappropriate stories about drinking, dating, or embarrassing behavior
• Keep the tribute respectful and focused on positive aspects of their life

Dressing Appropriately

Men's Funeral Attire

• Wear a dark suit in charcoal, navy, or black colors
• Choose a white dress shirt with French cuffs if possible
• Select a simple black or dark tie without patterns
• Add a white linen pocket square for appropriate formality
• Wear black leather dress shoes such as Oxfords, Derbies, or Brogues
• Include dark over-the-calf socks to maintain proper coverage

Avoid Inappropriate Clothing

• Never wear jeans, golf shirts, slacks, shorts, or casual attire to funerals

Following Up After the Service

Send Thank You Cards

• Acknowledge condolence cards and support with handwritten thank you notes
• Divide this task among family members to share the responsibility
• Use simple phrases like "Thank you for your support, I gained strength and encouragement from all of you"
• Specifically acknowledge charitable donations made in the deceased's name